“Thousands of Jews were dying, and nobody stopped the Nazis . . .We just watched it happen, as if it were a movie. We were bystanders. . . The main point is that you should never be a bystander, whether on the playground or in a war. For if you do, you never know, history might just repeat itself.”

http://trinityweblog.org/emmku0708/2008/01/23/disbelieving-the-disaster/#comment-92

What is the answer? 

National Crime Prevention Council says:

 http://www.ncpc.org/topics/by-audience/parents/bullying/bystanders 

What can kids do?  “There are effective and safe ways for kids to step in and help others being bullied.

Some work better in certain situations than others. You can help kids decide when to use each method by role-playing bullying situations with them. Remember to emphasize that kids should only step in when they feel safe.

• Walk away. This shows bullies that their behavior is not funny or okay.

• Speak up. Tell bullies that what they are doing is wrong. By saying, “that’s not funny, let’s get out of here” or something similar, kids can stand up for each other. This may also give other bystanders the confidence to speak up or walk away.

• Be a friend. Sometimes kids get picked on because they don’t have any friends or anyone to stand up for them. When kids befriend someone being bullied, bullies are less likely to pick on them. Friendship can also give children the support and the confidence to stand up for themselves.

• Ask others to help. When more kids stand up to bullies, the bullies will be more likely to realize their actions are not okay.

• Get an adult. Sometime kids who are bullied are scared to ask an adult for help because they think it will make the bullying worse. Kids can help by telling an adult what is happening, or going to speak to an adult with kids being bullied. “

What can parents do? 

Standing up to peers is a hard thing to do for people of all ages. But you can make it easier for kids by giving them the confidence and the support they need to do so. Here are some ways parents can help children develop these traits:

• Teach children to be assertive. Emphasize peaceful ways to solve problems and encourage kids to stand up for themselves verbally, not violently.

• Show kids safe ways to help others. Make it clear that you expect kids to take action if they see someone being hurt, or if they are hurt themselves.

• Hold kids accountable. If children stand by and watch someone being bullied, make it clear that their behavior hurts the victim too.

• Get to know their friends. Encourage your children to invite their friends to your home or accompany you on family outings.

• Be a good example. If you see someone being bullied or hurt, help them.

• Build empathy in your kids. If you see examples of people being bullied or hurt in movies, television, or books, talk with your children about how these people must feel. Ask your children how they would feel in that situation and what they would do to make it better. Point out ways characters helped out, or didn’t, and have your children think up different ways to help.

• Help them develop social skills. From a young age, encourage your children to play with others and to be friends with many different people. Have them spend time with people of different ages, backgrounds, races, ethnicities, religions, and mental and physical abilities.

 Speaking of teenagers, Chuck Norris said:   “WE CAN’T MAKE THEIR DECISIONS FOR THEM, BUT WE CAN GIVE THEM THE RIGHT TOOLS THEY NEED TO MAKE RIGHT DECISIONS.” 

What tools or skills do they need?  What is an effective teen? 

Are they reactive or proactive?

Do they know where they are going?

Do they prioritize the things they have to do?

Do they see life as a competition?

Do they talk first and then pretend to listen or listen actively?

Do they cooperate with others or do they think they are better off doing everything by themselves?

 Are they so busy with life that they do not have time to:

•         Spend quality time with family and friends

•         To do their homework

•         Read good books

•         Exercise

•         Take time for nature or other inspirational

Here is a presentation on this topic:

http://tagcblog.googlepages.com/home

Social Bookmarking Plan for Teens 

Social bookmarking is one method teens can use to help them gathering tools to help them make right decisions.

Go to http://del.icio.us/    Create your own account.  Think about what is important for you to know and apply as you make right decisions.  Decide what keywords or tags you wish to search for and do a search.   Remember you are the creator of how these tags will be used in organizing and storing your information.  Create your own list of saved sites and put in  a tag of tagcblog so I can find your list.  Email me at tagcblog@gmail.com when you are finished.